There was once a popular saying: “Men are from Mars; women are from Venus.” There was even a book written in 1992 with that exact title, which explained the many differences between the two sexes.
However, some say both men and women have evolved over the past few decades; more specifically, our modern society has substantially minimized the differences between the sexes. But a new theory proposes there is still one big difference between men and women: Women understand men, but men don’t understand women.
Psychology Student Presents Her Theory on TikTok
As with most of our news, this story comes from a viral TikTok video posted by a psychology student who goes by @izziebobizzie.
The clip starts with a different TikTok video that shows a woman wearing a fake mustache while pretending to be her husband, with text that reads, “I look like I’ll get mad if you serve the kids their food first before me.” Then, Izzie jumps on the screen to explain why the clip exemplifies gender psychology.
Feminist Theory “Blew My Mind”
Izzie goes on to say that she recently read about feminist theory in her psychology textbook, and it “blew [her] mind.”
Feminist theory is a set of ideas that promote gender equality, specifically arguing that women are not naturally (and shouldn’t be) subordinate or subservient to men. While there are certainly several interesting aspects of the theory, Izzie was focused on one idea: that, in psychology, “women are considered bicultural.”
How Are Women Bicultural?
Izzie continues, “Women are considered bicultural, like most marginalized groups, in that not only do they understand the culture they are physically a part of, but they also understand (deeply) the culture of the dominant group in order to survive with that majority culture.”
In other words, women have had to learn to understand female culture as well as male culture because they have always lived in a male-dominated society.
Humans Live in a Patriarchal Society
And Izzie is not wrong in saying we live in a male-dominated culture. Although there are a few exceptions, such as within the Bribri tribe from Costa Rica, the Mosuo in China, and Ghana’s Akan people, the vast majority of humans live in a patriarchal society.
By definition, a patriarchal society is a system in which “men have more power, dominance, and privilege than women.” For centuries or even millennia, human men have been considered the rulers and leaders, whereas women are essentially the support staff.
We Are Still Living in a Patriarchal Society
Some say that this reality has changed over the past 50 years. They argue that with women in the workplace, in government, and more and more women living without husbands or even boyfriends, we have moved past a patriarchal society.
However, the vast majority of people, especially women, will tell you that all you have to do is walk into an office or count how few women are actually working in politics to know this is simply untrue. Even today, in 2024, we are still living in a patriarchal society.
Evidence That We Are Still Living in a Patriarchal Society
In addition to the sheer number of men still in leadership positions and the minute number of women chosen for these same roles, several other pieces of evidence prove we live in a patriarchy.
Examples include the fact that young boys are taught to be strong and young girls are allowed and even encouraged to cry. Women are statistically less educated, they receive less money while working the same jobs as men, and even our scientific studies and medical research are widely based on the bodies of men instead of women.
TikToker Says Men Don’t Have to Understand Women
Additionally, as Izzie points out in her video, “Men do not understand female culture because they don’t have to and they don’t care to.”
Essentially, even though gender equality has come a long way, men still rule the world, and it makes them less empathetic and understanding toward women.
Men Only Consider Other Men
Now, it’s important to understand that this theory does not dictate that men are, by nature, unsympathetic or even unfeeling. It simply means that because they don’t have to understand the female culture, they subconsciously refrain from trying to do so.
Studies have shown that women are generally more empathic than men. However, when men do experience empathy, it’s most often toward other men because they actually understand how they’re feeling.
The Subconscious Inability to Understand Women Causes Strain in Heterosexual Relationships
Most women who watched Izzie’s TikTok video immediately responded in the comments section in complete agreement with her theory.
Almost every woman in a heterosexual relationship or even those with personal and professional relationships with men will tell you that they see this theory that women can understand men far better than men can understand women played out in their daily lives.
This Phenomenon Doesn’t Just Occur Between the Sexes
It’s also important to note that, like Izzie mentioned, it’s not just women who live in a bicultural society. Marginalized groups and minorities, including people of color, members of the LGBTQ+ community, migrants, low-income earners, and indigenous people, all experience a similar truth.
For years, they have been forced to live in both their own cultures as well as those of the dominant white male in order to survive. Meanwhile, men make little to no effort to understand marginalized cultures simply because they don’t have to.
Smash the Patriarchy: It’s Time for Gender Equality
Izzie ended her TikTok video by saying, “It’s fascinating,” which, of course, it is. But it’s also extremely frustrating.
Almost all women and even a large percentage of men believe that patriarchal societies should be ancient history. Still, until men actually have to and want to understand female culture, we will continue to live in a world ruled by men.
